All posts by The Brown Girl Dilemma

I welcome everyone— to read, reflect, and gather insight across the many topics about black people explored here. To the Brown girl and the Brown boy who walk into rooms already carrying history, beauty, and burden—this space is for you. You stand at the intersection of visibility and erasure, desirability and disregard, reverence and resistance, often praised, questioned, desired, dismissed, and debated all at once. In a world that studies your skin more than your soul and distorts what God designed with intention, may truth, healing, and divine purpose meet you here. This is a conversation created to name your journey without silencing your truth, to restore what society has tried to redefine, and to remind you that your worth was never the problem—only the world’s inability to honor it.
finances, financial literacy, Financial Literacy in the Black Community, money, Smart Money Series

5 Money Mistakes

Money affects where we live, what opportunities we can pursue, and how we respond when life changes unexpectedly. Yet many people reach adulthood without practical instruction in managing it. Financial wisdom develops through education, experience, and sometimes painful lessons. Recognizing common mistakes can help us make more deliberate choices about the resources available to us.

Before discussing those mistakes, one distinction matters: financial hardship does not automatically indicate financial irresponsibility. Low wages, unemployment, illness, caregiving, and rising living costs can overwhelm even a careful household. A useful conversation about money must recognize both personal choices and circumstances beyond an individual’s control.

Mistake One: Spending Without Knowing the Full Picture. It is difficult to make sound decisions when income, expenses, and payment dates remain unclear. Knowing an account balance is helpful, but that balance may include money already needed for rent, groceries, or utilities. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau recommends tracking income and spending to build a realistic budget. Consumer Financial Protection Bureau

Begin with the money actually available, then identify the obligations it must cover. Include recurring bills, everyday necessities, and occasional expenses such as annual renewals. A written plan makes these commitments easier to see. It can also reveal whether the problem is discretionary spending, the timing of bills, or an income that simply does not cover basic needs.

Timing deserves particular attention. A household may have enough income across a month but still fall short during a particular week. The CFPB’s cash flow budgeting tool addresses this by tracking when money arrives and when expenses must be paid. A calendar can make a difficult week visible before it arrives. consumerfinance.gov

A budget should provide information rather than become another source of shame. When necessary expenses exceed income, the numbers identify a shortfall; they do not measure someone’s character. The next step may involve seeking additional income, requesting an available payment adjustment, or finding assistance. Repeatedly rewriting the same figures cannot create money that is not there.

Mistake Two: Buying an Image Instead of Considering Affordability. Beautiful clothing, enjoyable experiences, and comfortable surroundings can bring pleasure. Trouble begins when maintaining an appearance takes priority over the obligations that sustain daily life. A purchase deserves closer examination when its price will leave an essential bill unpaid or require borrowing without a workable repayment plan.

Social comparison can make this mistake easier to justify. We may see someone’s purchases without knowing their income, debts, family support, or financial sacrifices. Their visible lifestyle gives us an incomplete basis for deciding what we should spend. Personal financial decisions need to fit the household paying for them.

Before making an optional purchase, consider its full cost. A vehicle may involve insurance, maintenance, fuel, and registration beyond the advertised payment. Clothing bought on credit may cost more if interest accumulates. Asking what the purchase will require over time gives a clearer picture than asking only whether today’s payment is manageable.

Enjoyment can have a place in a spending plan. Setting aside an affordable amount for personal pleasures allows room for beauty and celebration while keeping essential commitments visible. When money is scarce, postponing a purchase can protect future choices. It does not diminish anyone’s dignity, taste, or worth.

Mistake Three: Treating Available Credit as Available Income. A credit limit represents borrowing capacity, and using it creates an obligation against future resources. Credit can help cover purchases, but it can also make spending feel more affordable than it is. Before borrowing, consider the repayment amount, interest rate, fees, and the income expected to cover the balance.

Paying only the minimum can leave a balance outstanding for a long time while interest adds to the cost. Minimum payments may be all someone can manage during hardship, but they should not be mistaken for a quick repayment strategy. The Federal Trade Commission advises consumers to pay on time and review statements for errors or unauthorized charges. Consumer Advice

A useful starting point is to list each debt, its balance, interest rate, and required payment. That record makes the obligations easier to assess together. Any plan for additional payments should account for food, housing, utilities, and other necessities. An ambitious repayment target becomes difficult to sustain if it leaves basic living expenses uncovered.

When a payment becomes unaffordable, contacting the company early may reveal options. The CFPB recommends asking lenders and other financial companies about help, which may include more affordable repayment arrangements or fee relief. Assistance is not guaranteed, but making an inquiry provides information that silence cannot. Consumer Financial Protection Bureau

Mistake Four: Leaving No Room for Unexpected Expenses When Saving Is Possible. A repair, interrupted paycheck, or urgent household expense can disrupt a plan that otherwise works. The CFPB describes an emergency fund as a dedicated reserve for unplanned expenses and notes that even a small amount can provide some protection. The appropriate target depends on a person’s circumstances. Consumer Financial Protection Bureau

For someone with money remaining after necessities, a modest first savings goal may be more workable than an intimidating target. The amount should fit the household rather than follow someone else’s timetable. A reserve can grow gradually, and using it for a necessary emergency fulfills its purpose.

Automatic transfers can help people with reliable income save consistently. However, the amount and timing need to fit the account’s available funds. Someone with irregular earnings may prefer to transfer money manually after reviewing upcoming bills. The CFPB identifies automatic transfers as one possible savings method while encouraging attention to account balances. Consumer Financial Protection Bureau

People who cannot currently afford food or housing should not be blamed for lacking emergency savings. Saving requires money that can be set aside. During severe hardship, meeting immediate needs may take priority, with a reserve becoming possible later. Financial guidance is most useful when its recommendations match the resources a person actually has.

Mistake Five: Trusting Financial Promises Without Verification. An offer of easy income can feel especially persuasive when someone urgently needs relief. Warning signs include pressure to act immediately and promises of unusually high investment returns with little or no risk. Investor.gov advises checking investment professionals’ backgrounds and treating such guarantees with suspicion. Investor.gov

Before committing money, understand what is being offered, how it supposedly earns a return, what fees apply, and whether the people involved can be independently verified. Allow time to ask questions and read the terms. Across all five mistakes, the useful habit is deliberate attention: know what is available, understand the commitment, and choose with as much reliable information as possible.

References

a brown girl's beauty, Beauty, Black Beauty, black beauty standards, Black Beauty Standards Research, black female aesthetics, the science of black beauty

The Attractive Black Woman (The Men All Pause)

Attractiveness is more than physical appearance; it encompasses poise, confidence, intelligence, and presence. When a Black woman walks into a room with self-assurance, she commands attention—not through vanity, but through the embodiment of grace, strength, and authenticity.

The allure of the Black woman is deeply tied to her history and heritage. Beauty is not superficial but a reflection of resilience, pride, and cultural identity passed through generations. Every gesture, every glance, carries the weight of ancestral strength.

Men pause because true beauty captures more than the eye; it speaks to the heart and mind. Confidence radiates, telling the world that she values herself and will not settle for mediocrity. Proverbs 31:25 states, “Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come” (KJV).

Physical traits—rich skin tones, expressive eyes, full lips, and unique hair textures—draw attention, but character amplifies allure. A woman who balances elegance with intelligence creates a magnetic presence that naturally pauses observers.

The way a woman carries herself transforms spaces. Her posture, her manner of speech, and the way she engages with others all communicate worth. She does not need to demand attention; her presence commands it naturally.

The modern Black woman navigates societal pressures that attempt to define beauty narrowly. Yet the attractive Black woman transcends these limitations, embracing her unique features and celebrating them unapologetically.

Style and fashion contribute to her magnetic energy. Whether in casual wear, professional attire, or elegant evening gowns, clothing becomes an extension of personality and confidence. Men pause because they recognize intentionality and self-respect in her presentation.

Intellect and conversation are equally alluring. A woman who is knowledgeable, articulate, and curious captures respect and admiration. Her mind draws people in as much as her appearance. Proverbs 18:4 reminds us, “The words of a man’s mouth are as deep waters, and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook” (KJV).

Spiritual grounding enhances attractiveness. Faith, morality, and inner peace resonate outwardly. A woman whose life reflects integrity, humility, and devotion becomes captivating in ways that transcend superficiality.

Kindness and empathy amplify her allure. Beauty without compassion can feel hollow, but a woman who embodies both draws admiration and pause. Her interactions leave a lasting impression of grace and warmth.

Humor and joy are powerful. Men—and all people—pause when they encounter a woman who can navigate life’s challenges with laughter, perspective, and resilience. Her energy becomes magnetic and memorable.

Authenticity is non-negotiable. The attractive Black woman does not conform to trends or expectations to be validated. Her originality, creativity, and self-expression make her unforgettable.

Men pause because she sets standards, not barriers. She knows her worth and communicates it subtly but firmly. This combination of confidence and accessibility creates respect without intimidation.

Cultural pride enhances presence. Celebrating heritage, traditions, and history adds depth and richness to attractiveness. A woman grounded in her identity conveys strength and roots that are impossible to ignore.

Self-care and wellness contribute to magnetic presence. Taking care of the body, mind, and spirit communicates value and discipline. Health and vitality reflect diligence, consistency, and self-respect.

Emotional intelligence makes interactions meaningful. A woman who listens, empathizes, and responds with maturity fosters connection and admiration. Men pause because they recognize a depth of understanding and relational sophistication.

Leadership qualities elevate appeal. A woman who takes initiative, inspires others, and exemplifies accountability commands attention naturally. Her presence suggests influence and capability.

Resilience in the face of adversity adds allure. Life experiences shape wisdom, courage, and grace under pressure. Men pause when they witness a woman whose strength is evident yet tempered with humility.

Joy, presence, and energy leave impressions that last. Even brief interactions with a woman who embodies confidence, grace, and authenticity can resonate long after the encounter.

Ultimately, the attractive Black woman captivates not by seeking attention but by being fully herself. Men pause not merely for physical beauty but for the fullness of her being—confidence, intelligence, faith, grace, and authenticity. She teaches that true attractiveness is rooted in self-respect and alignment with purpose.

The Black Male Gaze in this Color Biased Culture.

References

The Holy Bible, King James Version. (1769/2017). Cambridge University Press.

Hunter, M. (2007). The persistent problem of colorism: Skin tone, status, and inequality. Sociology Compass, 1(1), 237–254. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1751-9020.2007.00006.x

Russell, K., Wilson, M., & Hall, R. (1992). The color complex: The politics of skin color among African Americans. Anchor Books.

Collins, P. H. (2000). Black feminist thought: Knowledge, consciousness, and the politics of empowerment. Routledge.

Hall, R. E. (2018). Skin color bias: Historical and contemporary perspectives. Journal of Black Studies, 49(1), 3–26.

generational wealth, money, Smart Money Series

A Black Economic History Lens—From Survival to Stewardship

Black economic behavior in America cannot be understood apart from history. Financial patterns within Black communities are often mischaracterized as personal failure rather than the cumulative result of systemic exclusion, theft, and restricted access to capital. To speak of “smart money” without historical context is to erase the conditions under which Black wealth was deliberately obstructed.

From the onset of chattel slavery, Black labor generated immense wealth while being denied ownership. Enslaved Africans were both the workforce and the commodity, producing capital for others without compensation. This foundational extraction established a racial wealth gap that persists to this day (Darity & Mullen, 2020). Scripture speaks directly to such injustice, declaring, “Woe unto him that buildeth his house by unrighteousness” (Jeremiah 22:13, KJV).

After emancipation, the promise of economic autonomy was swiftly undermined. Sharecropping, convict leasing, and Black Codes replaced slavery with debt peonage, trapping enslaved people in cycles of obligation and scarcity. These systems mirrored the biblical warning that the borrower becomes servant to the lender (Proverbs 22:7, KJV).

Despite these barriers, Black communities historically practiced collective economics. Mutual aid societies, burial funds, Black-owned banks, and cooperative businesses flourished during Reconstruction and Jim Crow. These institutions were born of necessity and wisdom, reflecting stewardship under constraint rather than excess.

The destruction of Black wealth was often violent and deliberate. Events such as the Tulsa Race Massacre of 1921 annihilated thriving Black business districts. Property, land, and generational wealth were erased overnight, rarely compensated. This mirrors the biblical reality that injustice is often enforced by power rather than merit (Ecclesiastes 5:8, KJV).

Redlining and housing discrimination in the 20th century further widened the wealth gap. Black families were systematically denied mortgages and home equity—the primary wealth-building tool for American families. Federal policies subsidized white homeownership while excluding Black communities (Rothstein, 2017). The consequences remain visible in net worth disparities today.

Consumerism later emerged as a subtler form of economic control. As legal segregation waned, corporations targeted Black communities with predatory lending, high-interest credit, and disproportionate advertising for luxury goods, alcohol, and fast food. The shift from exclusion to exploitation marked a new phase of economic disenfranchisement.

Scripture warns against such manipulation, reminding us that “the simple believeth every word: but the prudent man looketh well to his going” (Proverbs 14:15, KJV). Discernment became essential as access increased but ownership remained limited.

The modern Black economic dilemma often reflects survival habits carried into a consumption economy. Historically, spending was sometimes a response to instability—use it before it’s taken. While understandable, this mindset becomes costly in systems designed to extract rather than preserve wealth.

Smart money within a Black economic lens, therefore, requires healing historical trauma alongside building financial literacy. Stewardship must replace survival thinking. This transition mirrors the biblical shift from wilderness survival to promised-land responsibility—a movement from manna to management (Deuteronomy 8, KJV).

Investing, land ownership, and business development are not merely financial strategies—they are acts of restoration. Proverbs 13:22 teaches that a good person leaves an inheritance, affirming generational vision over immediate gratification.

At the same time, frugality within Black communities should never be framed as moral superiority or respectability politics. It is not about appearing “responsible” to oppressive systems but about reclaiming autonomy. Jesus warned that no one can serve both God and mammon (Matthew 6:24, KJV), a truth deeply relevant to consumer-driven economies.

Collective economics remains a powerful yet underutilized tool. Circulating dollars within Black communities—through Black-owned banks, businesses, and cooperatives—echoes historical practices that sustained communities under far harsher conditions.

The call to smart money today is not assimilation into exploitative systems but mastery over them. Discipline, education, and intentional living allow Black households to extract value without being consumed.

Ultimately, Black economic empowerment is both material and spiritual. Scripture consistently ties justice, stewardship, and provision together. “Better is a little with righteousness than great revenues without right” (Proverbs 16:8, KJV).

Understanding Black economic history reframes financial discipline not as blame, but as resistance, repair, and restoration. Smart money, when rooted in truth, becomes a tool for liberation rather than survival.

Smart Money Series: Spending Less, Living More—Biblical Wisdom for Financial Peace

References

Darity, W., Jr., & Mullen, A. K. (2020). From here to equality: Reparations for Black Americans in the twenty-first century. University of North Carolina Press.

Rothstein, R. (2017). The color of law: A forgotten history of how our government segregated America. Liveright Publishing.

Oliver, M. L., & Shapiro, T. M. (2019). Black wealth/white wealth: A new perspective on racial inequality (3rd ed.). Routledge.

Hannah-Jones, N. (2021). The 1619 Project. One World.

The Holy Bible, King James Version. (1611/2017). Cambridge University Press.

Thaler, R. H., & Sunstein, C. R. (2009). Nudge: Improving decisions about health, wealth, and happiness. Penguin Books.

biblical marriage, Love Is...., marriage, The Marriage Series

Beyond the Wedding: What Makes Love Dependable?

👇Click on the book cover to get your copy of my book👇

A wedding gives love a public moment: vows spoken, hands joined, and a future imagined before witnesses. Marriage brings those promises into everyday life, where affection must share space with responsibilities, disappointments, and change. The celebration matters, but its beauty cannot answer every question about the years ahead. Dependable love becomes recognizable when two people repeatedly give each other reason to trust the promises they made.

Consistency provides that reason. It appears in returning a call, keeping an agreement, communicating a change of plans, and completing a responsibility without repeated reminders. The Gottman Institute emphasizes that trust develops through small moments of everyday life. A spouse learns what to expect through experience: when a concern arises, does the other person respond with care? Over time, ordinary acts of follow-through give loving words credibility.

Honesty also makes love dependable. Marriage requires the freedom to discuss an unpaid bill, an uncomfortable feeling, a mistake, or a changing need before secrecy makes the situation harder. Truth can be difficult to hear, yet a relationship cannot address what one partner continually conceals. Each spouse has a responsibility to speak honestly and to respond in ways that make honest conversation possible. Humiliation and retaliation make openness more difficult.

Emotional attention gives that honesty somewhere to go. A dependable spouse makes an effort to understand what the other person is experiencing instead of immediately dismissing it, competing with it, or offering instructions. Sometimes care means asking a thoughtful question and listening to the answer. The Gottman Institute describes compassion, empathy, and intimate conversation as important elements in building trust. Feeling understood can help a spouse bring concerns into the relationship rather than face them alone.

Disagreement tests how that care holds under strain. Two people can love each other and still differ over priorities, habits, relatives, or household decisions. Dependability requires boundaries around the way those differences are expressed: no threats, degrading insults, intimidation, or deliberate cruelty. It also requires attempts to repair a conversation that has gone wrong. The Gottman Institute describes repair attempts as words or actions intended to reduce negativity and prevent conflict from escalating.

An apology becomes meaningful when it leads to responsibility. Saying “I am sorry” should include an honest acknowledgment of the behavior, attention to its consequences, and a practical effort to change. Forgiveness cannot do the work of changed conduct, and trust may need time to recover. A spouse who has been hurt deserves room to assess what happens next. Dependable love does not demand immediate reassurance while repeating the actions that made reassurance difficult.

Practical partnership matters just as much as emotional reassurance. Bills, meals, cleaning, appointments, caregiving, and planning must be handled by someone. Couples benefit from discussing these responsibilities directly and revisiting their arrangements when circumstances change. Financial hardship may limit what either person can contribute, but respectful communication and shared effort remain possible. A dependable spouse takes an active interest in the household’s needs instead of leaving the other person to notice, organize, and manage everything.

Fidelity protects the commitment the couple has chosen. It involves honoring agreed boundaries in friendships, private messages, online interactions, and physical relationships. For those who reserve sex for marriage, the wedding marks the beginning of a sacred expression of intimacy within that covenant. Marriage still calls for tenderness, mutual willingness, and respect for each spouse’s comfort. Faithfulness includes treating the person one married with dignity in private as well as speaking proudly of the marriage in public.

Dependable love must also make room for circumstances neither person would choose. Illness, unemployment, grief, disability, and aging can alter routines and require new forms of care. A spouse cannot prevent every hardship or meet every need alone, but can communicate honestly, participate in decisions, and seek appropriate support. Within a faith-centered marriage, First Corinthians 13:4–7 offers a standard of patience, kindness, truth, and endurance. These qualities require active care; they do not excuse abuse or remove the need for safety.

Beyond the wedding, dependable love is built through the repeated experience of being considered. It is present when a spouse keeps learning who the other person is, makes room for joy, accepts responsibility, and follows affection with action. Romance can continue through laughter, thoughtful gestures, shared interests, and deliberate time together. The vows remain important because the couple keeps giving them substance. Love becomes something they can depend upon when their daily choices consistently support the life they promised to share.

References

  • The Gottman Institute. (n.d.). The deeper meaning of trust. Read the article.
  • The Gottman Institute. (n.d.). How to build trust in your relationship. Read the article.
  • The Gottman Institute. (n.d.). How to make repair attempts so your partner feels loved. Read the article.
  • The Holy Bible, King James Version. 1 Corinthians 13:4–7. Biblical passages are used as faith-based reflections.

Beauty, Beauty Addictions, narcissism, narcissism, Narcissist, psychology

Narcissism and Beauty: When Admiration Becomes a Need

Beauty can inspire admiration, attraction, and delight. A person may enjoy being complimented, take pride in an outfit, or feel pleased with a photograph without believing they are superior to anyone else. These experiences belong to ordinary human life. The more revealing question is what happens when admiration is absent. Can a person still recognize their own worth and treat others with consideration, or does being overlooked become a reason to demand attention and diminish someone else?

The word “narcissism” is often used casually to describe anyone who appears confident, fashionable, or conscious of their appearance. This makes it easy to confuse presentation with personality. Narcissistic traits exist in varying degrees, while narcissistic personality disorder is a clinical diagnosis involving a persistent pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and difficulties with empathy. A photograph, an attractive face, or enjoyment of compliments cannot establish that diagnosis.

Healthy self-esteem and narcissism are not interchangeable. A person with a positive sense of self can appreciate their strengths while recognizing the equal worth of other people. Narcissistic patterns may involve entitlement, superiority, and demeaning attitudes toward others. Research comparing narcissism and self-esteem across 11 samples found important differences in their associations with interpersonal functioning. Feeling good about oneself does not require believing that everyone else should occupy a lower position.

This distinction matters when discussing Black beauty. A Black woman who celebrates her complexion, features, hair, or personal style should not automatically be accused of vanity. Affirming beauty can be a meaningful response to having it ignored, criticized, or narrowly defined. She is allowed to enjoy looking beautiful. The relevant concern is how she relates to others, rather than whether she speaks positively about herself or accepts admiration without embarrassment.

Beauty can become involved in narcissistic patterns when appearance serves as evidence of supposed superiority. In that framework, being attractive is treated as a claim to special privileges, unquestioned attention, or exemption from ordinary consideration. A compliment becomes confirmation of rank. Someone else receiving praise may then feel like a loss of position. The difficulty lies in the hierarchy being created around beauty and the behavior used to maintain it.

Appearance is only one possible setting for these patterns. A person may seek superiority through intelligence, professional achievement, moral reputation, wealth, or social influence. Research on domain-specific narcissistic admiration and rivalry examines several such areas, including physical attractiveness. This helps explain why narcissism should never be reduced to a concern with mirrors or fashionable clothing: the pursuit of distinction can attach itself to many qualities a person considers important.

Researchers distinguish between narcissistic admiration and narcissistic rivalry. Admiration involves efforts to promote an exceptional self-image and attract favorable attention; rivalry involves defensive competition and the devaluation of others. These are research concepts describing patterns, rather than labels to assign after a single unpleasant encounter. Applied to beauty, the distinction helps us consider both the desire to be admired and the response to someone else being admired.

Imagine two women receiving compliments at the same gathering. One enjoys the attention and sincerely tells the other that she looks lovely. Another responds to the other woman’s praise with a cutting remark about her age, clothing, or complexion. That remark alone does not establish a disorder, but its effect deserves acknowledgment. If such behavior becomes repetitive, the relationship may begin to revolve around preventing one person from feeling overshadowed.

Jealousy can occur without narcissism. People may compare themselves, feel overlooked, or struggle with insecurity while remaining capable of reflection and kindness. The important questions concern persistence, accountability, and impact. Can the person acknowledge an unfair remark? Can they tolerate another person’s success? Do they make room for feelings other than their own? These questions offer more useful information than deciding that every uncomfortable reaction reveals a hidden diagnosis.

Admiration itself can also be sincere. When someone tells a woman she is beautiful, there is no need to presume manipulation, mockery, or an ulterior motive. Many compliments are simply expressions of appreciation. Looking at the broader relationship helps establish their meaning. Praise accompanied by respect for boundaries, interest in the person’s thoughts, and consistent consideration has a different significance from praise repeatedly followed by demands.

In courtship, physical attraction may create a powerful first impression while leaving much about character unknown. Research on first encounters has found that people can mistake grandiose narcissism for high self-esteem and initially respond favorably to it. This does not mean an attractive or charming person is untrustworthy. It means that initial appeal and long-term compatibility answer different questions, and familiarity provides information that admiration alone cannot supply.

Time allows a person to observe how a potential partner responds to disappointment, disagreement, and limits. Someone may speak beautifully about a woman’s appearance yet show little curiosity about her beliefs or ambitions. Another may be less polished in conversation but consistently attentive and dependable. Neither example should become a rigid rule about charm. The purpose of observation is to understand whether attraction is supported by conduct that can sustain a relationship.

Woman speaking with two young people at a garden gathering

Within families, a similar concern arises when someone’s appearance is treated as part of another person’s reputation. A parent might celebrate a daughter’s beauty publicly while criticizing her private choices or expecting her to remain agreeable for the sake of the family image. Such conduct can leave the daughter feeling displayed rather than understood. The behavior can be discussed directly without diagnosing the parent: praise does not cancel out control, humiliation, or repeated dismissal.

A person living within that dynamic may begin to feel that approval depends on presentation. Looking attractive, staying pleasant, or keeping difficulties private can become ways of avoiding criticism. Yet beauty cannot guarantee considerate treatment, and mistreatment is not proof that someone failed to be appealing enough. The responsibility for a hurtful action belongs to the person choosing it. Appearance does not make another person responsible for someone else’s entitlement.

Social media provides a visible setting for questions about attention, comparison, and self-presentation. It also supplies many ordinary reasons to post photographs: celebrating an outfit, sharing creative work, recording a milestone, or enjoying photography. Posting frequently does not diagnose narcissism. A more thoughtful discussion considers whether the person can respect others, tolerate disagreement, and maintain relationships beyond the reactions collected by an image.

For anyone reflecting on their own relationship with admiration, honest questions can be useful. Do I enjoy praise, or feel that it is owed to me? Can I celebrate another person without immediately comparing us? Have I hurt someone because I felt overlooked? These questions invite responsibility without making beauty or confidence shameful. The aim is a more stable relationship with appreciation, one that leaves room for other people to be seen.

Empathy gives that reflection substance. A person can consider how their pursuit of attention affects the people around them, including whether conversations repeatedly return to their appearance or accomplishments. Practicing curiosity, acknowledging another person’s feelings, and accepting responsibility for harm are meaningful interpersonal actions. Admiration feels different in a relationship where both people are treated as fully human, with experiences deserving attention.

Those on the receiving end of hurtful behavior do not need to settle a diagnostic question before setting a boundary. It is reasonable to object to insults, pressure, unwanted comparisons, or demands for constant reassurance. Describing the action clearly can be more useful than arguing about a label. A boundary might address how someone speaks, what information they are allowed to share, or whether a conversation will continue when it becomes degrading.

Where persistent patterns cause distress or damage relationships, professional assessment offers more than speculation about someone’s appearance. A qualified clinician considers a person’s history and functioning rather than relying on a single trait. Treatment is available for narcissistic personality disorder, although change requires sustained work. Neither public admiration nor criticism from loved ones substitutes for an informed assessment and appropriate care.

Beauty can be celebrated without becoming a contest over human worth. A woman may know she is beautiful, enjoy being desired, and take pleasure in her reflection while remaining generous and accountable. The concern begins when admiration becomes something others must supply at the expense of their own voices or dignity. A healthy appreciation of beauty leaves room for the person wearing it—and for every person standing beside them.

References

God is Guide, The Bible says.., The Most High, Yah, yahawah

Walking with the Most High Through Uncertainty

Uncertainty can make an ordinary day feel heavy. When income is unreliable, health is troubling, or the future of your home is unclear, even quiet moments can fill with questions. You may pray sincerely and still wonder what will happen next. Walking with the Most High through such a season begins with bringing that reality before Him. Faith has room for an honest voice, including one that trembles.

Scripture gives language to those difficult prayers. In Psalm 13, David asks how long his sorrow will continue and whether he has been forgotten. His questions remain within a prayer addressed to God. This is a meaningful reminder for anyone who has felt ashamed of asking why relief has taken so long. You can speak about disappointment without disguising it as gratitude, and you can seek the Most High while acknowledging that you are tired.

Trust becomes especially challenging when the path ahead cannot be seen. Proverbs 3:5–6 calls believers to trust in the Lord and acknowledge Him in their ways. Such trust does not supply a timetable for every answer. It invites us to bring our decisions, limited understanding, and need for direction into our relationship with Him. Sometimes the most truthful prayer is simply, “I do not know what to do. Please guide me.”

Uncertainty can also turn a present difficulty into a frightening prediction about an entire life. An unanswered application may begin to feel like permanent rejection; a closed door may seem to declare that every door will remain closed. Those feelings deserve compassion, but they cannot tell us everything about the future. Matthew 6:34 directs attention toward the concerns of the present day. We can name what needs attention today without claiming to know every hardship tomorrow will bring.

There are days when taking action is possible and days when strength is scarce. Seeking work, attending an appointment, asking a question, or accepting assistance can all belong within a life of faith. Rest can belong there, too. Psalm 103:14 describes the Lord’s remembrance of human frailty. That tenderness offers a different way to regard exhaustion: as a real limitation deserving care, rather than a spiritual defect requiring self-condemnation.

The silence of other people can deepen an uncertain season. When a request goes unanswered, it may leave a person feeling overlooked as well as unsupported. Psalm 62:8 invites people to pour out their hearts before God. That invitation does not erase the need for practical help, but it gives sorrow somewhere to be expressed. You do not have to make your circumstances sound smaller or more acceptable before bringing them to the Most High.

Receiving a good moment can also become part of walking through difficulty. Ecclesiastes 3:12–13 speaks of rejoicing, doing good, and enjoying the gifts of life. A meal, a conversation, a piece of music, or a moment of creativity may offer welcome comfort while serious concerns remain unresolved. You are allowed to receive that comfort. Enjoyment does not require forgetting what hurts or pretending that your needs have already been met.

Discernment remains important while hoping for change. A promise from another person is still a promise, and an opportunity deserves examination even when it appears at a desperately needed moment. James 1:5 encourages those who lack wisdom to ask God for it. Prayer can accompany careful questions, attention to evidence, and a willingness to acknowledge what remains unknown. Seeking guidance includes permitting yourself to consider the details.

Some forms of faith are quiet and difficult to recognize from the outside. They may appear in a person who prays through tears, tells the truth about a painful day, or chooses to try again after disappointment. Lamentations 3:21–24 places hope alongside affliction and recalls the Lord’s mercies. Its movement toward hope does not require us to deny the suffering surrounding it. Hope can be held with weary hands.

Walking with the Most High through uncertainty means continuing a relationship when answers remain incomplete. You may need direction, provision, healing, and a place to rest, and those needs deserve to be named plainly. Psalm 119:105 describes God’s word as a lamp for the feet and a light for the path. A lamp offers light where the next step is being taken. May you find enough guidance for that step, enough comfort to speak honestly, and moments of peace as you continue.

References — The Holy Bible, King James Version

  • Psalm 13:1–6 — Honest lament, petition, and trust.
  • Proverbs 3:5–6 — Trusting the Lord and seeking His direction.
  • Matthew 6:34 — Attending to the concerns of the present day.
  • Psalm 103:13–14 — Divine compassion and human frailty.
  • Psalm 62:8 — Pouring out the heart before God.
  • Ecclesiastes 3:12–13 — Receiving enjoyment as a gift.
  • James 1:5 — Asking God for wisdom.
  • Lamentations 3:21–24 — Hope and mercy amid affliction.

boy meets girl series, the brown boy dilemma, the brown girl dilemma, The Brown Girl Experience

Boy Meets Girl Series: Episode 6 — The Moment Interest Awakened.

The moment interest awakened, it was subtle, almost imperceptible. A glance, a shared smile, a quiet understanding that something profound was beginning to stir. It was not driven by desire alone, but by recognition—two souls sensing alignment before words could define it.

They both knew, deep within, that their meeting was more than chance. It felt like destiny, a recognition written before birth. “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18, KJV). The Most High orchestrates connection; what was awakening was part of a divine design.

From the first moment of conversation, there was curiosity tempered with reverence. They spoke, yet their hearts listened more than their ears. It was the kind of interaction where each word carried weight, not for impressing, but for understanding. “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” (James 1:19, KJV).

Their awareness of one another sparked admiration without compromising purity. Attraction was present, but desire was disciplined. They understood that God must remain first, and their hearts second, before anything physical could arise. “Flee fornication” (1 Corinthians 6:18, KJV) was not a rule of restriction, but a guard for destiny.

In the quiet of that awakening, both recognized their complementary nature. Their interests, values, and faith aligned in ways that could not be engineered. “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3, KJV). The Most High had already harmonized their spirits before their eyes met.

It was a moment of clarity. For the first time, they realized that this connection was not superficial or fleeting. It carried weight and permanence. “The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way” (Psalm 37:23, KJV). Every step that led them to this moment was intentional.

They spoke of dreams, prayer, and purpose, discovering that their visions for life were aligned. The awakening was not just emotional; it was spiritual, purposeful, and covenantal. “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5, KJV). God’s wisdom shaped their understanding of one another.

Even amid excitement, patience prevailed. They acknowledged that purity and respect were essential. Physical restraint was not a barrier but a testament to divine timing. “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled” (Hebrews 13:4, KJV). Their focus remained on spiritual alignment, not fleeting attraction.

The Most High’s presence was unmistakable. In moments of laughter, shared silence, or a meaningful glance, both sensed His guidance. The awakening of interest was accompanied by peace and discernment, not confusion. “God is not the author of confusion, but of peace” (1 Corinthians 14:33, KJV).

There was a quiet excitement in knowing they were created for each other. This awareness was not arrogance or pride, but gratitude and reverence. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above” (James 1:17, KJV). Their connection was a divine gift, acknowledged with humility.

Even in casual interactions, attention to detail mattered. How he spoke, how she listened, how they honored one another—these small acts confirmed compatibility and character. “By their fruits ye shall know them” (Matthew 7:16, KJV). The moment interest awakened was rooted in virtue as much as in connection.

They prayed together, sometimes silently, recognizing that God’s will must be central. Each interaction was filtered through faith and reverence. “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart” (Psalm 37:4, KJV). Their desire was aligned with obedience and purpose.

Mutual respect became the foundation of attraction. They admired each other’s character, integrity, and faithfulness above all else. Beauty was secondary to virtue, and charm was measured against humility. “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:30, KJV).

The awakening of interest was accompanied by hope. Both sensed that if they remained patient and faithful, God would lead them to a covenant. “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end” (Jeremiah 29:11, KJV).

By the end of that day, hearts were stirred, curiosity was confirmed, and faith was strengthened. They knew that what was awakening was sacred, protected, and ordained. The moment interest awakened was a gentle reminder that God places desire, alignment, and destiny in the hearts of those He intends to join, and purity preserves that revelation.

Boy Meets Girl Series: Episode 3 — The Psychology of First Encounter

References

The Holy Bible, King James Version. (1769/2017). Cambridge University Press.

Scriptures referenced:
Amos 3:3; Genesis 2:18; Hebrews 13:4; James 1:17, 1:19; Jeremiah 29:11; Matthew 7:16; Psalm 37:4, 37:23; Proverbs 3:5; 1 Corinthians 6:18, 14:33; Proverbs 31:30.

God is Guide, Protector, the bible, The Bible Series, The Most High

In the Presence of My Enemies

There is a particular kind of pain that comes from discovering that someone resents your happiness, belittles your efforts, or quietly hopes you will fail. Opposition can come from strangers, but it can also come from people whose approval once mattered deeply. Psalm 23:5 speaks into that difficult reality: “Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.” The image offers reassurance that hostility does not place a person beyond God’s care. Even in an unsettled place, there can be provision, dignity, and peace.

Hatred does not always announce itself through open confrontation. Sometimes it appears through persistent ridicule, deliberate exclusion, or repeated attempts to undermine someone’s character. Yet discernment requires attention to conduct rather than assumptions about another person’s heart. A disagreement, an unanswered message, or an uncomfortable conversation does not automatically reveal an enemy. Jesus taught that people are known by their fruits, directing attention toward what their behavior consistently produces (Matthew 7:16–20).

Envy can make another person’s blessings feel like a personal offense. Instead of appreciating someone’s abilities, appearance, relationships, or opportunities, an envious person may interpret those qualities as evidence of their own inadequacy. Scripture describes envy as “the rottenness of the bones,” a powerful image of resentment consuming the person who carries it (Proverbs 14:30). Another person’s gifts need not diminish our own, but comparison can obscure that truth.

Joseph’s account reveals how destructive envy can become within a family. His brothers’ resentment grew from their father’s favoritism, Joseph’s dreams, and what those dreams seemed to suggest about the future. Their hostility eventually became a plan to remove him from their lives (Genesis 37:3–11, 18–28). The story exposes a painful possibility: familiarity does not always produce kindness. People can know someone closely and still choose to treat that person unjustly.

Some people attempt to injure others through words rather than direct action. Gossip can turn a complicated experience into a damaging story, while slander presents falsehood as fact. Once repeated, an accusation may travel farther than the correction that follows it. Proverbs 16:28 warns that a whisperer separates close friends. Responsible speech requires refusing to circulate claims merely because they are interesting, flattering, or convenient.

Betrayal carries a different weight when it comes from someone who once shared your confidence. Psalm 55:12–14 describes the anguish of being wounded by a familiar companion rather than an openly declared adversary. Trust makes closeness possible, which is why its misuse can feel so destabilizing. Healing may involve grieving both what happened and the relationship you believed you had. Acknowledging that grief is part of telling the truth.

Traps can take practical forms: an invitation to participate in dishonesty, a conversation designed to provoke an outburst, or pressure to reveal information that may later be misused. Proverbs 29:5 describes flattery as something that can spread a net for a person’s feet. The lesson is to consider whether praise is being used to obtain access, agreement, or control. Sincere appreciation respects your freedom to say no.

The account of Daniel presents an example of people deliberately seeking grounds for an accusation. When his opponents could find no corruption in his work, they targeted his religious faithfulness through a restrictive decree (Daniel 6:4–9). Daniel’s experience illustrates how integrity can become inconvenient to those pursuing power. His response also matters: he continued his established practice of prayer rather than allowing their scheme to determine his character (Daniel 6:10).

Opposition does not prove that every choice we make is right. Sometimes criticism identifies a mistake, and wisdom requires enough humility to examine it. Proverbs 15:31–32 praises the willingness to receive correction that leads toward understanding. Discernment distinguishes useful correction from humiliation by considering the evidence, the substance of the concern, and the manner in which it is expressed. Growth remains possible even during conflict.

Boundaries help prevent compassion from becoming unrestricted access. You can treat someone respectfully while declining to share private plans, personal struggles, or sensitive information with them. Proverbs 4:23 instructs believers to guard the heart diligently, recognizing the importance of the inner life. In practice, that may mean ending a harmful conversation, limiting contact, or refusing repeated demands that leave you depleted. A boundary gives a clear shape to what you will participate in.

Restraint can protect you when someone is trying to provoke a reaction. Responding immediately to every insult may pull your attention away from your responsibilities and place it in the hands of the person upsetting you. James 1:19–20 encourages people to be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath. Taking time before responding creates room to separate what happened from what anger urges you to do next. A measured answer can carry more strength than a hurried defense.

Forgiveness and reconciliation involve different decisions. Forgiveness can begin as a refusal to nurture revenge, while reconciliation requires attention to truth, accountability, and whether trust can reasonably be rebuilt. Romans 12:18 acknowledges the limits of our control by instructing believers to live peaceably with others as far as it depends upon them. You cannot produce mutual peace through your effort alone. The other person’s conduct remains their responsibility.

Loving your enemies is among the most demanding teachings of Jesus. In Matthew 5:44, He calls His followers to love, bless, do good, and pray even in the face of hostility. Such love challenges the desire to return injury for injury. It can coexist with reporting wrongdoing, leaving an unsafe situation, and seeking accountability. Refusing cruelty does not require making yourself available for further harm.

The table in Psalm 23 is a picture of care within an environment where opposition still exists. The enemies have not disappeared, yet the psalmist is being sustained. That detail matters because peace is often postponed until every difficult person changes or every conflict ends. The verse offers another possibility: receiving God’s care while the circumstances remain imperfect. Your life can contain nourishment and meaning before every problem is resolved.

That provision should never be reduced to a promise of wealth, public recognition, or immediate victory. Faithful people may continue to experience illness, hunger, grief, and material hardship; their suffering is no measure of their worth before God. In Philippians 4:11–13, Paul describes learning endurance in both abundance and need. The responsibility of a caring community is therefore practical as well as spiritual. James 2:15–16 challenges expressions of goodwill that leave a person without necessary food or clothing.

There is also a temptation to turn vindication into a performance. After being dismissed or mistreated, a person may long for those responsible to witness their success and regret their behavior. That desire is understandable, but making an audience of your adversaries can keep you emotionally attached to them. Proverbs 24:17 warns against rejoicing when an enemy falls. A fuller recovery allows joy to become valuable even when those who hurt you never acknowledge it.

Envy can also arise within the person who has been wounded. Watching someone prosper after they have behaved unjustly may produce anger, comparison, and questions about fairness. Psalm 73 gives language to that struggle rather than concealing it behind an appearance of constant confidence. Its reflection invites believers to reconsider what they measure and where they seek stability. Honesty before God creates room to confront resentment before it begins governing your choices.

Not everyone around you is an adversary, and painful experiences should not be allowed to erase the possibility of trustworthy relationships. Some people will celebrate your progress, respect your limits, and offer correction with genuine care. Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 describes the value of companionship through the simple act of helping another person rise after a fall. Learning to recognize dependable conduct is as important as recognizing harmful conduct. Discernment should help us build healthy connections as well as leave damaging ones.

There are circumstances in which prayer must be accompanied by concrete protective action. Credible threats, harassment, fraud, and deliberate interference deserve a factual response, which may include preserving records, seeking advice, or contacting an appropriate authority. Nehemiah 4:9 describes prayer alongside the setting of a watch in response to danger. Spiritual trust and practical preparation can work together. Neither requires exaggerating what is known or ignoring what has been clearly established.

“In the presence of my enemies” ultimately invites reflection on whose judgment will govern your life. Other people may misunderstand you, envy you, or treat you unfairly, but their actions do not supply the whole meaning of your existence. Psalm 23 closes with goodness, mercy, and dwelling with God rather than a final accounting of the enemies’ defeat (Psalm 23:6). The lasting hope is a life sustained by God’s care. At that table, there is room to recover your strength, receive what is good, and continue forward with dignity.

References

The Holy Bible, King James Version.

  • Psalm 23:1–6 — God’s care, provision, and presence amid opposition.
  • Matthew 7:16–20 — Recognizing people by their fruits.
  • Proverbs 14:30 — The destructive effects of envy.
  • Genesis 37:3–11, 18–28 — Joseph, family resentment, and betrayal.
  • Proverbs 16:28 — Gossip and the separation of friends.
  • Psalm 55:12–14 — The pain of betrayal by a companion.
  • Proverbs 29:5 — Flattery pictured as a snare.
  • Daniel 6:4–10 — A deliberate plot against Daniel and his continued prayer.
  • Proverbs 15:31–32 — Receiving correction and growing in understanding.
  • Proverbs 4:23 — Guarding the heart.
  • James 1:19–20 — Listening, restraint, and anger.
  • Romans 12:17–21 — Peace, vengeance, and overcoming evil with good.
  • Matthew 5:43–48 — Loving enemies and praying for persecutors.
  • Philippians 4:11–13 — Endurance through abundance and need.
  • James 2:15–16 — Responding practically to material hardship.
  • Proverbs 24:17–18 — Refusing to rejoice over an enemy’s downfall.
  • Psalm 73 — Wrestling with the apparent prosperity of the wicked.
  • Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 — Companionship and mutual support.
  • Nehemiah 4:9 — Prayer accompanied by protective action.
Beauty, Black Masculinity, black men, masculine perfection, Masculine Perfection Series

The Black Man: Handsome in Every Shade, Distinguished in Every Style

There is something captivating about a Black man who carries himself with confidence and ease. His complexion, features, hairstyle, clothing, and expression come together in a presence entirely his own. A thoughtful glance or an unguarded smile can make as much of an impression as a beautifully tailored suit. Black male beauty deserves to be admired openly, with warmth and sincerity.

That beauty appears across a rich range of complexions. Deep ebony, warm brown, bronze, and lighter brown skin each possess their own appeal. These descriptions celebrate variety rather than establish a ranking. No shade needs to borrow its value from another, and no man should have to resemble a preferred complexion to be recognized as handsome.

Black men also have an extraordinary variety of facial features. Broad noses, full lips, expressive eyes, prominent cheekbones, and strong or softly shaped jawlines create countless distinctive faces. These features need not be measured against a single narrow ideal. Their beauty can be appreciated on its own terms, without qualifying the compliment or treating African features as something to explain away.

A man with long locs may have a striking elegance, whether he wears them loose, tied back, or carefully arranged. Their movement and shape can complement his face and give his style a recognizable signature. Locs do not tell an observer everything about his beliefs, occupation, or personality. They are part of his appearance, and he remains the person best able to explain what they mean to him.

The short Afro offers another expression of Black male beauty. Its natural texture can frame the face with a clean, balanced silhouette while allowing tightly coiled hair to remain visible and celebrated. A man does not need to conceal that texture to look polished. Care, grooming, and personal preference can shape an appearance that is both natural and refined.

Curly hair brings its own character to a portrait. Defined curls may soften an angular face, add height, or create a relaxed contrast with formal clothing. Different cuts allow a man to express different tastes without changing the value of his natural texture. There is room for a neatly cropped style, a fuller shape, and many possibilities between them.

A bald head can be equally handsome. Without hair framing the face, attention may settle on the eyes, cheekbones, smile, and shape of the head. A well-chosen collar or pair of glasses can complement that appearance, as can a carefully groomed beard. Baldness needs no apology, whether it is a deliberate style or a change a man has chosen to embrace.

Facial hair offers further possibilities. A full beard, a close trim, a goatee, a mustache, or a clean-shaven face can each suit different features and preferences. Grooming is most expressive when it works with the individual rather than forcing everyone toward the same result. Looking distinguished does not require every man to follow an identical formula.

Then there is the suit: a garment that can bring structure, proportion, and occasion to a man’s appearance. A navy jacket, charcoal trousers, or a rich brown ensemble may highlight different aspects of his complexion and personal taste. The appeal often lies in how the pieces work together. An elegant result need not depend on a conspicuous label.

Fit deserves particular attention. A jacket that sits comfortably at the shoulders and trousers that allow natural movement can help a man look at ease in formal clothing. Clothes should serve the person wearing them. When he can stand, walk, and sit comfortably, his own manner has room to become part of the presentation.

Distinction also exists beyond formalwear. A simple polo shirt, a crisp white shirt, traditional attire, work clothes, or a relaxed weekend outfit can be worn beautifully. A suit may be appropriate for one setting and impractical for another. Black men do not become worthy of admiration only when dressed for an office, ceremony, or photograph.

It is possible to enjoy a man’s appearance while remaining careful about what we assume from it. Research has examined how physical attractiveness influences social judgments, including impressions of qualities that have not yet been observed. Langlois and colleagues’ review supports taking those influences seriously. A handsome face may invite attention, but it does not establish an entire biography.

The familiar tendency to associate beauty with favorable personal qualities also deserves reflection. Dion, Berscheid, and Walster’s research explored this attractiveness stereotype. Admiration need not disappear because we recognize it. We can sincerely appreciate a man’s looks while allowing honesty, reliability, and kindness to become evident through his actions.

For Black men, that distinction matters in another direction as well. Hair, clothing, and complexion should not become excuses to assume danger, irresponsibility, or a lack of education. The National Museum of African American History and Culture’s discussion of race and racial identity explains how racial categories acquire social meanings. Meeting a person fairly requires questioning the meanings we have learned to attach to his appearance.

A photograph of four well-dressed Black men can therefore be enjoyed without turning them into exceptions to an insulting rule. Their elegance does not require a comparison that diminishes other Black men. Nor should their suits become evidence that men dressed differently deserve less respect. Celebration is fuller when it recognizes beauty without making dignity conditional.

Smiling man with curly hair outdoors among evening city lights

A smile can make a portrait especially memorable. It may reveal warmth, humor, or a moment of genuine enjoyment, though no single expression tells us everything about someone. A serious face can be handsome too. Men should have room for a range of expressions rather than being required to appear endlessly stern or constantly reassuring.

Appreciating Black male beauty also leaves room for age. Youthful features, a mature face, and silver appearing in a beard can each have their own appeal. A man’s style may develop as his circumstances and preferences change. Handsomeness need not be confined to one stage of life or maintained through an effort to look permanently young.

Character adds another dimension to knowing a man. Keeping a promise, treating others considerately, accepting responsibility, and responding honestly during disagreement are qualities that appearance cannot prove. They become visible through relationship and experience. A man can enjoy being admired for his looks while also wanting recognition for what he contributes and how he lives.

Scripture offers language for valuing both outward presence and inward life. First Samuel 16:7 directs attention to the heart, while Proverbs 20:29 recognizes the glory associated with youthful strength and the beauty of age. These passages encourage a broader view of a man’s life. His worth includes more than the impression he makes when he first enters a room.

The Black man is handsome in every shade and capable of distinction in every style. Locs, an Afro, curls, or a bald head can each belong to a face worth admiring. A tailored suit can frame that beauty, but it does not create his humanity or determine his value. To celebrate him well is to offer the compliment sincerely—and remain interested in the man who receives it.

References

  • Dion, K., Berscheid, E., & Walster, E. (1972). What is beautiful is good. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 24(3), 285–290. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0033731. Research on favorable assumptions associated with attractiveness. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
  • Langlois, J. H., Kalakanis, L., Rubenstein, A. J., Larson, A., Hallam, M., & Smoot, M. (2000). Maxims or myths of beauty? A meta-analytic and theoretical review. Psychological Bulletin, 126(3), 390–423. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.126.3.390. Reviews attractiveness judgments and social treatment. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
  • National Museum of African American History and Culture. Race and Racial Identity.
  • Holy Bible, King James Version. 1 Samuel 16:7; Proverbs 20:29.