Being single in the 2020s can mean having countless ways to meet someone while still finding it difficult to build a meaningful connection. A conversation can begin through an app, a social media message, a workplace introduction, or an ordinary encounter. Yet access to people does not guarantee honesty, compatibility, or commitment. For a woman who desires marriage and intends to remain sexually abstinent until then, the challenge is finding someone whose intentions and conduct respect her convictions.

Singleness is not a failure to reach adulthood or proof that a woman has been overlooked. Her life has value before anyone chooses to marry her. She can desire companionship sincerely while continuing to develop her gifts, nurture friendships, serve her community, and walk with the Most High. First Corinthians 7:32–35 recognizes that unmarried life can provide opportunities for devoted service; it does not describe unmarried people as incomplete.

Still, wanting love is natural. There are evenings when companionship is deeply missed, especially after disappointment, divorce, or bereavement. Faith does not require pretending those feelings do not exist. A woman can bring her loneliness to the Most High without allowing loneliness to make every decision. Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 speaks to the value of companionship, while friendship, family, and community also offer meaningful forms of connection.

One difficulty in modern dating is the uncertainty surrounding intentions. Two people may spend months communicating without agreeing on whether they are pursuing marriage, enjoying casual attention, or simply passing time. Someone who desires marriage benefits from discussing that desire early. Asking what a person wants is reasonable; listening carefully to the answer can prevent investing in a relationship built on incompatible expectations.

Digital introductions require particular discernment because a profile presents only what its owner chooses to share. Photographs, religious language, professional titles, and affectionate messages are not independent evidence of character. Allow time for a person’s account of their life to become consistent and verifiable. RAINN recommends precautions for online and in-person dating while emphasizing that no precaution guarantees safety and responsibility for harm belongs to the person causing it.

Romance scams are a danger. Someone may develop an affectionate relationship online before introducing an emergency, travel expense, or investment opportunity that requires money. The Federal Trade Commission advises against sending money, gift cards, wire transfers, or cryptocurrency to an online love interest. Generosity should never require surrendering financial security to someone whose identity and circumstances remain uncertain.

Early meetings deserve practical planning. Choose a populated public setting, tell a trusted person where you will be, and maintain a reliable way to leave independently. Avoid sharing your home address before trust has developed, and keep control of your drink and personal belongings. These precautions can reduce some risks, but someone who experiences harm has not caused it by failing to anticipate another person’s behavior.

Danger does not always announce itself through physical violence. Controlling behavior may involve demands for passwords, constant monitoring, humiliation, isolation from friends, or anger when a boundary is expressed. The National Domestic Violence Hotline identifies extreme jealousy, intimidation, and sexual pressure among warning signs of abuse. Such conduct deserves attention even when it follows gifts, apologies, or declarations of love.

A healthy courtship leaves room for each person’s judgment and independence. A woman should be able to maintain friendships, attend worship, manage her money, and express disagreement without punishment. Interest becomes concerning when it turns into entitlement to her time, movements, or body. A partner’s response to a respectful “no” can reveal more than his most carefully prepared compliment.

For a woman committed to sexual purity until marriage, the boundary should be stated plainly. “I am waiting until marriage” is a complete expression of conviction. It does not require debate, embarrassment, or an apology. First Thessalonians 4:3–5 encourages sexual holiness and self-control, offering a scriptural foundation for those who choose abstinence as part of obedience to the Most High.

A compatible partner will take that commitment seriously. He may ask sincere questions, but repeated bargaining, ridicule, guilt, or threats to leave are pressure. Paying for dinner, providing assistance, or spending time together creates no sexual obligation. Consent must remain freely given in every relationship, including marriage; a wedding does not give either spouse permission to coerce or harm the other.

Supporting abstinence involves making practical decisions together. A couple can choose settings, visiting hours, and expressions of affection that support their shared commitment. Honest planning is more useful than repeatedly entering circumstances they already find difficult. Second Timothy 2:22 connects turning away from temptation with actively pursuing righteousness, faith, charity, and peace alongside others who seek God sincerely.

Purity also concerns how people treat one another. Honesty, humility, compassion, and integrity matter throughout courtship. A person can abstain from sex while still deceiving, belittling, or exploiting a partner. Someone’s willingness to wait is meaningful, but it should be considered alongside the broader pattern of their conduct. First Timothy 4:12 places purity beside conversation, charity, spirit, and faith.

Religious language deserves the same discernment as any other claim. A person may speak confidently about Scripture while behaving dishonestly or using spiritual authority to silence questions. Claims that God has already designated someone as your spouse should not override your judgment or freedom to decline. Matthew 7:16 directs attention to people’s fruits, reminding believers to consider what a life consistently produces.

Courtship becomes more informative when a couple discusses ordinary responsibilities. Talk about employment, debt, spending, children, household duties, worship, Sabbath observance, and expectations concerning extended family. Discuss how disagreement will be handled and what accountability looks like. Agreement on attraction alone cannot resolve every difference in the life a couple hopes to share.

Beauty and admiration can be enjoyed without being mistaken for a full understanding of someone. A sincere compliment may be the beginning of interest, and there is nothing wrong with receiving it graciously. Over time, however, a woman needs to learn whether the admirer also values her mind, convictions, work, and wellbeing. Proverbs 31:30 places lasting emphasis on reverence for the Lord, inviting attention to character alongside outward appearance.

Maintaining a commitment to abstinence should never become an excuse to shame someone’s past. People enter a new season with different experiences, including previous marriages, choices they regret, or abuse for which they bear no blame. A woman can choose to wait from this point forward without describing herself as damaged. Those who experience sexual violence have not lost their dignity or moral worth because of another person’s actions.

Taking a break from dating can be a sensible decision when the process becomes draining. Constant messaging, uncertainty, and disappointing encounters can consume attention that is needed elsewhere. Time away can make space for friendships, prayer, creativity, and practical responsibilities. There is no requirement to remain continuously available for introductions in order to demonstrate that one wants marriage.

Marriage remains a worthy desire, but the desire should not create pressure to accept an unsafe relationship or rush a wedding. Time, honest conversations, and premarital counseling can help a couple examine expectations before making a covenant. None can guarantee a trouble-free marriage, and abstinence alone cannot establish compatibility. The goal is a freely chosen commitment supported by mutual respect and demonstrated responsibility.

Being single in the 2020s calls for discernment without surrendering the possibility of love. A woman can welcome sincere courtship, receive admiration, and remain firm about waiting until marriage. She can also leave when honesty or safety is missing. Her hope for a husband and her responsibility to care for herself can exist together as she seeks a relationship marked by faithfulness, tenderness, and peace.

References

• Holy Bible, King James Version: Ecclesiastes 4:9–10; Proverbs 31:30; Matthew 7:16; 1 Corinthians 7:32–35; 1 Thessalonians 4:3–5; 1 Timothy 4:12; 2 Timothy 2:22.
• Federal Trade Commission. Romance Scams. Supports the discussion of financial exploitation and requests for money. Consumer Advice
• RAINN. Tips for Safer Dating: Online and In-Person. Supports the practical dating precautions and limits of risk reduction. RAINN
• National Domestic Violence Hotline. Warning Signs of Abuse. Supports the discussion of control, jealousy, intimidation, and sexual pressure.