The Untrustworthy: Understanding the People Who Betray Our Trust

“Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.” – Anonymous

Trust is the invisible thread that binds human relationships together. Yet, history, psychology, and scripture alike remind us that not everyone is worthy of it. Across cultures and generations, individuals have been warned to watch for those whose behaviors undermine loyalty, integrity, and truth. While trust is foundational to friendship, work, and community, there are certain types of people who consistently prove themselves untrustworthy—those who blame, sabotage, deceive, and manipulate.

Types of People You Can’t Trust

1. Chronic Liars – Twist the truth and erode trust.
2. Blamers/Deflectors – Never take responsibility, always shift fault.
3. Backstabbers – Pretend to be loyal but secretly betray you.
4. Gossips/Backbiters – Spread your secrets and damage reputations.
5. Envious/Jealous People – Resent your success and blessings.
6. Saboteurs – Deliberately work against your progress.
7. Manipulators – Use guilt, charm, or deceit for personal gain.
8. Gaslighters – Twist reality to make you doubt yourself.
9. Two-Faced People – Act one way in front of you, another behind your back.
10. Opportunists – Only around when they need something.
11. Unreliable/Flaky Friends – Fail to keep promises, vanish in hard times.
12. Negative/Pessimistic People – Drain energy and pull you down.
13. Competitors/Rivals – Treat friendship like a contest instead of support.
14. Hypocrites – Words and actions never align.
15. Disloyal People – Abandon you when adversity comes.

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📖 Biblical Backing:

• Proverbs 14:30 – “Envy is the rottenness of the bones.”
• Sirach 6:13 – “Separate thyself from thine enemies, and take heed of thy friends.”
• Proverbs 16:28 – “A whisperer separateth chief friends.”

One of the most destructive types of people is the blamer—the person who shifts responsibility even when they are wrong. Psychology defines this as defensiveness and projection, mechanisms by which individuals protect their ego by making others the scapegoat (Baumeister et al., 1998). Such people erode confidence, damage reputations, and create cycles of conflict. In biblical terms, Proverbs 28:13 (KJV) warns: “He that covereth his sins shall not prosper.” A person who refuses accountability cannot be trusted with the responsibilities of friendship or leadership.

Equally dangerous are those who work against you in secret while pretending to stand with you. In workplaces, this may manifest as subtle sabotage or passive resistance; in personal life, it may mean betrayal of confidences. This behavior is often rooted in envy—the fear that another’s success diminishes their own worth (Smith & Kim, 2007). Instead of cooperating, they quietly conspire. The Apocrypha (Sirach 37:4) describes them well: “There is a companion, which rejoiceth in the prosperity of a friend: but in time of trouble will be against him.”

Another category of untrustworthy individuals includes the backstabbers, liars, and backbiters—those who smile in your presence but assassinate your character in your absence. Gossip and slander are forms of social aggression that damage reputations and create toxic environments. Modern psychology confirms that gossip is often motivated by insecurity and envy (Dunbar, 2004). The Bible is direct in Proverbs 16:28: “A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.” Words, when misused, become weapons.

Similarly, a person whose words and actions do not align cannot be trusted. Consistency is the foundation of character, and when someone repeatedly breaks promises or acts contrary to their speech, they reveal duplicity. Jesus himself warned in Matthew 7:16: “Ye shall know them by their fruits.” Actions, not declarations, reveal the truth of a person’s loyalty. Such individuals often employ charm or flattery while secretly undermining others.

Another class of the untrustworthy are the saboteurs—those who deliberately obstruct progress or seek to ruin opportunities. Whether motivated by jealousy, competition, or malice, saboteurs operate with hidden agendas. Psychology frames this as covert aggression, where harm is disguised as helpfulness (George, 2010). In communities, families, and workplaces, saboteurs breed division by weakening trust among members.

But why do people behave this way? Scholars and theologians alike often trace it back to envy, which has been called the “rottenness of the bones” (Proverbs 14:30). Envy distorts perception, making people view others’ blessings as threats. When envy festers, it transforms into bitterness, deception, and betrayal. Psychology adds that low self-esteem, unresolved trauma, and narcissism also fuel untrustworthy behaviors (Miller et al., 2010). Thus, distrustful actions are not merely social faults—they are reflections of deeper moral and psychological deficiencies.

Despite the dangers of betrayal, it is crucial to remember that not all people are untrustworthy. True friends exist, and they are treasures. Ecclesiasticus (Sirach) 6:14–16 declares: “A faithful friend is a strong defence: and he that hath found such an one hath found a treasure.” In contrast to the betrayers, a faithful companion uplifts, protects, and stands firm in adversity. Discerning the trustworthy from the untrustworthy is a lifelong task—one that requires wisdom, patience, and prayer.

In a world filled with liars, backstabbers, and manipulators, the challenge is not to abandon trust altogether but to place it wisely. To trust indiscriminately is to risk betrayal; to trust wisely is to safeguard the heart and spirit. The untrustworthy will always exist, but so too will the faithful. The call for each of us is clear: exercise discernment, guard our hearts, and surround ourselves with those whose words and deeds reflect integrity, loyalty, and love.

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📚 References

• Baumeister, R. F., Stillwell, A. M., & Wotman, S. R. (1998). Victim and perpetrator accounts of interpersonal conflict: Autobiographical narratives about anger. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74(1), 165–183.
• Dunbar, R. I. M. (2004). Gossip in evolutionary perspective. Review of General Psychology, 8(2), 100–110.
• George, S. (2010). Covert aggression in the workplace: Understanding and managing hidden conflict. Journal of Business Ethics, 93(1), 85–98.
• Miller, J. D., Campbell, W. K., & Pilkonis, P. A. (2010). Narcissistic personality disorder and the DSM–V. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 119(4), 640–649.
• Smith, R. H., & Kim, S. H. (2007). Comprehending envy. Psychological Bulletin, 133(1), 46–64.